Overexploit, cheat, deplete.

 

Japanese whaling under the guise of "research" hammers on in the face of worldwide scrutiny.

What can be done to stop this horror?

 

Each year hundreds of whales are harpooned, shot with a rifle, and then dragged aboard large whaling vessels to later have their meat placed in vast frozen stockpiles. For decades now the Japanese have insisted that the brutal slaughter of these majestic creatures is not only culturally important, but a basic human right which they refuse to relinquish.

 

Many organisations have tried to put a stop to this heinous practice of whaling; fishing boats have been rammed, and harpooned whales even ridden, by the more extreme activists. Further to these efforts, Whalewatch, an umbrella of 140 smaller conservationist and animal protectionist groups, have staged protests both on land and at sea as well as publishing dozens of reports on the inhumanity which is whaling; and on a more politically persuasive level dignitaries representing entire countries have implored Japanese officials to abandon their thinly veiled disguise of commercial whaling as "research" and admit that what they are doing is illegal.

 

In so far these efforts have just been a mere nuisance to the whalers themselves, and a source of entertainment for the Japanese officials approached.

 

It must be made clear, as a sidenote, that it is not only Japan fatally engaging with mother earth's whales. The Norwegians have there hands dirty as well but they never seem to be mentioned in the sensationalist media whoring of so called "anti"whaling groups. This, of course, arises from the fact that Australia and America (the main players kicking up this gigantic shitstorm) were respectively invaded and bombed by the Japanese and not, at any time past or present, by the Norwegians. Western countries and their conservationist groups recognise that Norwegians are fair skinned and, as such, it is an unspoken rule that they should cop very little of the finger pointing for the atrocities of whaling.

 

Greenpeace - carrying on the ideals of race discrimination long after the fall of Hitler’s Nazi regime.

 

Now, as with all problems faced by modern society, there is a simple and elegant solution that can be applied to this issue which, once enacted, would undoubtedly stop the disgusting and outdatedly-cruel practice of whaling in its tracks -

 

Nuke them.

 

Yes, that's right, nuke the fucking whales.

 

Seriously, is the whole world really so fucking retarded that they overlooked this effective and efficient remedy? Thankfully no, it isn't. The "Nuke the Whales" slogan can be found on many a bumper sticker amongst the global population but the supporters of such ideals have always lacked a qualitative, evidence based argument to back this statement up.

 

Before you go off on a pissy little bitchfest and start denouncing the validity of such measures, hear me out.

 

It's a little known fact that for a brief period following the atomic bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki the practice of whaling was bought to an absolute halt. The effect of these two relatively small and dated bombs trounced the combined power of every other attempt at crippling the whaling industry to date.

 

 

Now the American's were on the right track at the time, solving problems with nuclear warfare, but what they didn't realise was that it would only be a temporary fix to the whaling problem (which as we all know was the real reason "little boy" and "fat man" were dropped, preparations to surrender were already being undertaken in Tokyo; the war was about to end regardless of such a vulgar display of power). Mistakenly the Americans turned their destructive power on fellow humans when they should have been using it to decimate that which begat whaling, the whales themselves. I propose that we go the whole nine yards and do what needs to be done to stop further corruption of our oceans by whaling - we take the destructive atomic arsenal currently held by those shifty North Koreans and we use these weapons for a common good; We shove them up the arses of every single whale in god's great blue ocean.

 

There is of course the problem that some whales may survive this holocaust, perhaps by shielding themselves with the charred blubber of their fallen comrades. This would pose quite a substantial risk to the anti-whaling initiative if they were to breed and therefore give the Japanese and the Norwegians something to harpoon again. Obviously a crack team of ninja's would need to be assembled, who, with the aid of their pirate brethren, would sail the high seas and end the lives of said survivors.

 

What, you don't think a ninja could kill full grown whale? Ninja's could fucking kill anything.

 

The only reason ninja's haven’t already disposed of the world's whale population is that they've been too busy messing other species' shit up. Remember the extinction of the dinosaurs? That was the ninja's. Some punk-ass Tyrannosaurus was talking smack to this one ninja, so he started a whole fucking ninja jihad against the dinosaurs and a day later they were wiped out.

 

The ninja's are already behind the campaign to “disarm the North Koreans and detonate the whales” so now I'm formally putting the call out to the rest of you rent-a-crowd protestors within our feisty young population, in the vain hope that you will actually do something about the causes for which you so blindly assemble and help put an end to whaling as we know it - by means of nuclear decimation.

 

In closing, unless you want your ass handed to you in the most violent and bloody of ways, don't talk smack to a ninja.

 

 joelheartskarimme

xoxo

That is all :)

 

 joelheartskarimme

xoxo

 

 

 

 

 

 

xoxo

 Also, DIE USYD SCUM! Yes that means you Julie. UNSW FOR THE WIN!!!!

 

joelheartskarimme

xoxo

 

On a more seroius note there is something everyone really needs to look out for on University campus', and that's self-righteous vegetarian, pro-feminism, anti-war uni students. They aren't too hard to spot, but you need to know exactly where to look. Here's a quick visual guide:

 

These are the sorts of uni students who roam the grounds looking to score weed; and looking for an audience to preach too. They walk around with a smug look of self content, flowing "flower-child" dresses and no shoes. Their sharehouse bathrooms are devoid of such stables like hair brushes, shavers and deoderant.

 

If you're ever interested in finding out the reasoning behind statements like "blowjobs oppress female sexuality", "porn creates unrealistic standards for female the image and role in the bedroom", "veganism is the path towards oneness with nature" and "men are pigs" (browse some Australian feminist websites for more of these gems) then by all means approach one of these females. 

 

Ok, so a quick update on stuff I hate about UNSW:

Only a short list of course, i'm sure there's much much more to come. Haha, everyone missed the funniest thing today but, the ass of Chris' shorts was covered in both brown and dark-red coloured stains and he walked around like that all day and everyone kept saying stuff like "omg that guy lyk totally bled out his ass then shat everywhere an lyk rubbed himself in it" and Chris was all like "I don't care, I don't care" but everytime we got near a reflective surface he tried to look at his shit and blood stained shorts.

 

Hella-funny.

 

Ooooh, and most importantly of all, Karimme's back *dances* yippeeee!

 

xoxo

*smiles*

 

Life is great =)

 

That is all.

 

xoxo

And here's the proof, clicky this.

 

The following I deem to be a complete and accuracte transcription:

Joel     -   "What?"
Ingrid -   "Am I singing it now?"
Joel     -   "Yeah go."

Ingrid -   *sings in spanish*

Ingrid -   "Potatoes"

Joel     -   "POTATOES! Yeah, everyone loves potatoes."

Ingrid -   "Potitas, it's leeegs."

Joel     -   "PoTITas, hahahahaha."

Ingrid -   "You're a fucking ... champion, you must be the best person ever. I'm in awe of you."

 

If anyone was wondering how to sing "La Cucaracha" then you're in luck, I have the official mexican lyrics for it!

 

 

Ok, ok, so the last line mightn't be legit, but even the mexicans can't decide how it's meant to end. Some versions end in "marijuana que fumar" which makes the song about a cockroach who can't walk cause it's smoked all it's weed, and others just end in something about the feet or legs, like "una pata para andar".

 

Hehe, happy new years Ingi =)

 

Oh and there's also pictures again! Phone photo's no less.

 

Me an Lisa getting into the Christmas spirit, well I was getting into the spirits, Lisa was drinking beer =P

 

Azz getting boobie perving privilages.

 

I thought i'd bring my oldness up again, cause you know, i'm almost 18! *dances* Infact a lot of us are 18 soon, Julie's up first, then Kylie,Simon, Me and Browns, then Ingrid cause she's heaps young, followed by PJ and Azzabear! Hehe, it's going to be a fun 3months =) Keeping n the same vein as me getting older, i'm getting ink (yeah, I say getting ink, cause i'm a badass), I still donno what i'm gonna have done, but it will happen =) Hooray!

 

 

Oh, and it's been ages since I gayed my blog up with flowers, but in an effort to create a more homosexual friendly atmosphere I've brought them back for this entry!

 

 

 

In other news, I went to UNSW today, pretty not bad. So many ginger kids but! Holy shit, you would not believe how many carrot tops I saw, four in the same little lecture theatre then one more just outside! I laughed so hard, ask Chris. I didn't even think there were that many red heads in all of Australia.

 

UNSW's nice, looks better then USYD, mostly because it's buildings were erected (hahahaha erected) after the seventeen hundreds. It's quite multicultual though... perhaps a little too multicultural. Believe it or not the ratio of white to other was lower then at our School, i'm guessing us crackers only made up about 5% of the attendance today.

 

xoxo

Yaaay.

 

That is all.

 

I love you Karimme.

 

xoxo

Merry Fucking Christmas infact =)

 

Peace out to all my niggas in the ghetto.

 

xoxo

Goddamn I love free stuff. Inkscape is good fun. I made a butterfly.

 Haha.

 

Suprisingly there's a heterosexual reason for my new found interest in simple vector based work, i'm almost 18 and that means it's tattoo time =) Yay.

 

 

Still not sure what I want, but it will be small, and black (yay I used an oxymoron) and across each inner wrist, the one on my right wrist will have my name written there somewhere, you know, just incase I ever forget. I've been told that the wrist is the best place to get them done cause that's where the skin is the thickest on you're body, and there's plenty of fat stores there to stop the needle hitting bone, shouldn't even be able to feel it. Gee I hope I wasn't lied too... i'm a four year old asian girl when it comes to enduring pain =P

 

 In summary, I love you super K!

 

xoxo

Yeah, schoolies movies =) As a great man, possibly named Die Hard, once said "yippeekiyay-motherfucker".

Alright, first up to plays these you need the correct codec installed. A codec's this thing that... oh nevermind, it's a good thing. Just click (here) and follow these instructions:
1. Run that program, it should come up with a box saying "English", click ok.
2. Click next.
3. Click the radio button next to "I accept" then click next.
4. Click next, click next, click next.
5. Click install.

Pretty foolproof but I was worried some of you might fuck it up.

Now, on to the videos =) Umm, I tried to get them to a smallish size, if you're totally uncool and don't have broadband internet then you might want to avoid them. You can sort of see what's going on in most of the videos, just a bunch of people coloured blocks moving around and talking to each other. Right click them and use "save target as".

Bacon and Eggs
Here I wake some bitches up for breakfast, which I kindly cooked. Notice how close Simon and Chris are.

Browns Mixing Drinkies
Can't remember what this was called, but it consisted of two parts. A yucky green part and a yummy brown part. I hate Midori. Oh oh and I tell Grace I don't like her right at the very end, just slipped it in before the stop of recording.

Campfire
Well, not much of a camp happening, but there's a fire. If you look closely you can see Grace having intercourse with her new male friend.

JENGAAAA!!! (video 1, video 2, video3, video 4, video 5, towerfalls)
Notice the swearing and intensity of the game. Umm, ok, first i'll need to explain bukkake to those who weren't on schoolies with us, just watch this. The first video is of me, second of jezzmegreg, third of me and jims and the forth and fifth are of me again but there's a piece missing in between where I say I want blowjobs and icepacks off everyone, the final video is a spectacular explosion of Timba blocks. This was the 3rd time Kylie had fucked it up during Schoolies.

"Julie's Just Had Intercourse"
Written and Performed by "Jay to the E, double Ziggy".

 

Me Not Drunk  -  Me Recycling
Yeah, I didn't do a whole lot of drinking the first couple of nights. Actually I didn't drink at all. Oh and we had a rad recycling system which actually made me want to save the environment.

Yeah, something happened just before this video took place involving Grace. I can't remember what it was, but I give her shit about it and then sort of screw that up by saying my name instead of hers.

Wake up Cam  -  Wake up Bukkake  -  Wake up Fireworks
Everyone likes being woken up, right?

 

Hooray. That is all.

 

xoxo

 

xoxo

SCHOOOOLIES =) Yay. Overall it was a pretty great week, some of it was a bit shithouse though. Anyway, on with the pictures! There's a lot, so be patient, may take some time for them all to show up if you have a crappy interweb connection.

 

Birubi beach, the first night. Oh so perty.

 

Sanddunes just inland of the Birubi. A 4wd would have been very cool right about here.

 

Boat Harbour, mmm, calm blue ocean =)

 

Boat Harbour again, beachhead.

 

Boat Harbour amongst the rocks.

 

Just throught i'd throw this in, after all, sand is nature =) I love you K!

 

 

Mmm, Stallion. Me wanty.

 

Benji on schoolies =)

 

Hey Jezz... Jezz... J-enga. Most intense Jenga (umm, well Timba to be precise) game ever.

 

After wasting 5bux on the shittest Tobogans ever I decided to make my own fun, for free. Best experience on a bodyboard, ever!

 

What can I say, the boy is gifted. Not very humble however...

 

Chris is sexy.

 

Hooray.

 

Jess likes fireworks.

 

Hairy, like animal!

 

Here's Chris sunbathing.

 

Jeremy enjoying the beautiful weather.

 

Julie.

 

Me an Benji hanging out. We're so badass.

 

My poor bed.

 

Brownie got burnt. Reeeeal burnt. The colour is sort of off in the photo, but she was a bright red for much of the week.

 

James busting some moves to impress the local talent.

 

Yep they definetly look impressed.

 

...one last time.

 

Is PJ.

 

Chris, sleeping, as per usual.

 

Aaron sleeping. Check out the smile on his face. He got sex.

 

Deep slumber. Snoring away no doubt.

 

Julie sleeps standing up.

 

Kylie, not stealing my bed for a change.

 

Peejee so cute.

 

Simon's not actually "sleeping" per se. He's unconscious. This is him like 4 hours after yelling "No one's going to sleep tonight, i'm going to wake them up. And if I fall asleep i'm going to wake myself up."

 

 

Kylie loved it.

 

Now this is slightly creepy, has anyone seen Clockwork orange? The resemblance is uncanny.

 

James is a cowboy. Yee-haw!

 

I have no idea what was going on here =P

 

Atleast simon had breifs on here, he spent most of the night either totally starkers or with one of Brownies gstrings on.

 

Yep, poor gstring got heaps stretched..

 

Jezza has a pretty ass.

 

Here's me trying to send my beautiful girlfirend a message. This was the one place I could sort of get reception.

 

...and then it got a little uncomfortable.

 

Yep and then on Wednesday night I decided not to drink.

 

But then we had visitors so fuck that sober business, it became "wasted wednesday" =)

 

Here's said visitors. Fiona did 4unit Maths and English, what a trooper.

 

Well, that's about it for now. In summary, Schoolies!! I'll forever have fond memories of "Smashed Sunday", "Maggoted Monday", "Off-Your-Tits Tuesday", "Wasted Wednesday", "Trashed Thursday", "Fucked-up Friday" and "Sober Saturday".

 

I love you K, more then I could ever express to you in words. I'm sure other people would be able to attest to the time and effort I put into finding reception two or three times a day to send you a mesasge =) Infact, someone has a great photo of me passed out on top of the stairs spread eagled with my phone in one hand trying to sms you after getting pretty damn drunk =P

 

xoxo

Yeah, you know what i'm talking about =)

 

xoxo

So I went shopping today; and just so everyone knows, I fucking hate shopping.

 

You know how difficult it is to find a shirt not splashed with hot pink, or a pair of shorts that aren't black with pinstripes? Well I'll tell you how difficult it is, mildly. And mildly is just bad enough to make shopping all the more boring and unbearable, so mildly to me is a big deal.

 

"But what's wrong with pink? What's wrong with black pinstripe shorts?" Qouth the salesperson. "If you wear this pink shirt and these pinstripe shorts then you'll be non-conformist just like me!"

 

Anyway, sucks if you missed the funky pink sunset on saturday night. It was mucho cool. Despite the inherent gayness of the colour (note salmon coloured shirt later on in this entry) it was still perty! Ok so I may have ended up ever so slightly drunk that night, ever so slightly. It just took me a little longer then Karimme before I couldn't stand so great anymore.

 

Of course there was a simple remedy for that problem, lie down! Now this wouldn't be much of a fucking awesome update if there weren't any pictures, so, hooray, pictures.

 

Here's Chris. Flaming hottie is he not?

 

And aspiring porno director Marcela. She likes strawberry flavoured condoms. I stole her strawberrry flavoured condom. Well, not so much stole, nor pilfered (even though that would be cool and pirate like) but rather accepted as a gift. Atleast she had the common decency to keep it wrapped, and not leave it on sprawled on Louises lawn like that funny looking guy Steven did arousing all sorts of unwarrented suspicion.

 

An here's Simmo, running away, possibly because some trendy metro shop is having a sale on trendy metro salmon coloured shirts only for special vip metro members.

 

Nathan, drunk, and interrupting. What was with people and interrupting? Seriously, that's not cool.

 

And finally a very strong, masculine, sunset..

 

So schoolies soon, hooray. That's cool. But what's even cooler is watching your special someone slam down two Smirnoff Double blacks in the time it takes you to open yours and take a first sip. Impressive.

 

I love you Karimme, hope you have a great week, not long and your on holidays! Which reminds me, i'm going to need some sort of job if i'm not going to uni next year. I also need a job because I have zero dollars. I'm actually in negative territory seeing as though I owe Jezzabelle 5bux for schoolies.

 

Stuffs expensive, I hate that. But yeah, go Azza, communism is looking pretty good right about now =P

 

I'm soooo buggered, haven't slept for more then a couple of hours at a time since Thursday. That's crap-tacular (should be a word, same with skank-tacular which I used driving through  Kings Cross).

 

So, in summary, Simons a metro poof. That is all.

 

Karimme your an amazingly sweet and caring girl, don't ever forget that!

 

xoxo

Yep there are very few people brave enough in this world to combine the words "mathematics" and "fantastic"; I, however, pride myself on being one of those few. Anyways, this week was maths exam week, extension 2 and extension 1, in that respective order no less.

 

I was so fucking tired today that I had trouble driving. Seriously we were sitting at a crosswalk this morning waiting for people to move an then there was a big gap, an I was like "score, lets go, I want to get my exam on". But yeah, I was still sorta in neutral, so I sat there looking like a cockbite revving the engine an not moving before I realised.

 

Ok so enough of the introduction, basically this entry is all about how awesomely prepared I was for my maths exam, as evidenced by the work in my mathematics notebooks. I picked out a few of the better pages to illustrate my point.

 

This first one is a portrait I drew of our school, quite accurate I believe. Notice the stink lines.

 

Oh and i'm often accused of being racially insensitive or some such bullshit like that, but i'm not I tell you.

See, it's not just racial targetting, it's religious too! As a side note, STFU is hebrew for "shut the fuck up".

 

Furthermore to this point we can bear witness to one of my greater drawings.

Don't take offence to this my chocolate coloured best buddy.

 

The humour in this one is quite subtle, so look carefully or you might miss it.

 

And yes, I know i'm bad with words and such, but I just can't help but love the beauty and grace of well written Haiku's!

 

Lastly, but certainly not least, is my very own "artist's impression" (and I use the term "artist" loosely) of Julie's wedding with homosexual footballer Craig Wing. Again, it's very subtle. Notice her disproportionate body, I ran out of room so I had to squish it all in :)

 

And in summary, I love you K!

That is all.

 

xoxo

Don't miss the StickPorn!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

xoxo

Well, without further ado, STICKPORN!

Yeah you know you love it. I was going to keep drawing but from then on the positions only became more intricate; it was either just more of the same with slight tweaks, or there were limbs everywhere and you couldn't see what was going on.

 

xoxo

 

xoxo

 

Step 1. First your going to need to find all your English stuff. Chances are if your like me you don't really have anything that resembles an English Notebook, so you'll need to rely on sheets and handouts. This presents somewhat of a problem because typically in true sheet and handout style they've managed to get themselves lost. A great place to start looking for the sneaky escaping bastards is probably in your bag.

 

Step2. Once the sheets have been located dump them on to the floor. This way you'll know exactly where everything is and they'll also provide a makeshift obstacle course that you can enjoy navigating during study breaks. At this stage your room should look a little like this:

This might look somewhat messy but you need to realise that all the important stuff is there. Incase your definition of important is broadened while studying then neverfear, i've got you covered because all of the nonimportant stuff is also there.

 

Step 3. Now comes the hard part, actually studying. The most important aspect of this step is location. A great man, possibly me, once said "Location, Location, Location". It may have been in the context of masterbation or Xtreme Wet Dorifito Style driving but regardless it still applies here to some extent. Basically you want to find somewhere with zero distractions, no computers, no guitars, no mobile phones and certainly no lamps which heat up so much you can melt pens to them while basking in the warm glow of your own brilliance. Once you've find this seemingly perfect study area dismiss it because it is way to boring and then go find somewhere cool.

 

Step 4. Spend a few hours fucking around until you realise, maybe around 7pm, that your totally utterly screwed. Then sign out of messenger, turn the monitor off and the Beethoven up and get to work for fucks sake. If you finish before one in the morning then you probably havn't tried hard enough. Also its unlikely that your actually going to be able to sleep, so don't worry about even attempting to get 8 hours, 5 hours of broken, restless sleep will be plenty so get up at 6am and hit the books again.

 

Step 5. Win the HSC

 

Step 6. ???

 

Step 5. Profit

 

 

xoxo

Yep, that's right folks i'm only six exams away from winning the HSC.

 

For fucks sake, got 5 hours sleep last night, an i've been awake for 19 today so far. I'm buggered. The logical thing to do right now would be go to bed, and that's all well and good for your typical person, but i'm cool so I'll try an make it to 20.

 

24 days to go, then shortly after, SCHOOLIES!!!!!! I'm gonna get sooooo fucking wasted.

 

This is now belated because it's tomorrow already, but happy one month K :) I love you.

 

xoxo

I am so fucked.

 

=)

 

*buries his head in a book*

 

xoxo

Seriously, i've said it before and i'll say it again, it rocks. Click on the daily deviations link for your first taste.

main page      -      daily deviations      -      my page

 

Eh, so hard to study, too horny. Damnit. Fuck it, i'll study tomorrow. It's only English, and it's only our HSC.

 

xoxo

Hehe, , i'm such a lucky boy.

 

....also, click here, cause there's now a playlist and everything, gogo Bob Marley!

 

xoxo